Rosalind's apartment

Roz entered her apartment, dropping her keys on the counter where she would later forget that she put them. Her apartment was cramped, with only one bedroom and one bathroom. There were papers scattered across the small kitchen table, and her crossbow was abandoned in the corner. Apart from that, she managed to keep the place surprisingly neat. She was proud of her ability to stay organized. Still, it wasn't a palace. Sometimes the heating would cut out, and her couch was pretty old. It still felt like home. And for a girl who grew up with nothing, she was doing pretty well for herself.

"I'm about 50% sure that I actually have food in my fridge." Roz told Teddy. It wasn't her fault, she was barely home anyways.

Roz smiled guiltily at her lack of food. "Yeah, I think I have chips here somewhere..." Roz started going through the cabinets. In a normal situation, a person would know what was in each one of their cabinets, Roz did not. In fact, it took her four minutes to find the chips that she was only 45% sure that she actually had. She held them up, grinning proudly. Because finding chips was supposed to be an accomplishment or something.

"Thanks, babe." Roz said. While Teddy put the nachos together, Roz took her hair out of the messy bun it was in, raking her fingers through the tangles that had formed throughout the day. Roz's smile only grew as Teddy wrapped his arms around her.
"What kind of studying do you need to do?
"Hmmm..." She mused, "I suddenly can't seem to remember."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him quickly on the lips.
"I guess I'll just have to put off studying for tonight."

Making out with Teddy was probably the highlight of Roz's week. Mainly because her week sucked. On a scale from one to ten, she'd give it a solid 3. But now it had worked its way up to a 4, maybe a 5 if this went the way she wanted it to. Her hands worked their way from Teddy's neck down to his butt. Because why not. Its not like she had anything to do for the next hour or so. She was just about to suggest they move this somewhere else before she started to smell smoke. Roz's eyes shot open, darting to the oven where a small plume of smoke was escaping from the edges of the oven door.
She swore loudly, hopping off the counter and rushing to the oven to turn it off. She grabbed the oven mitts, putting them on before throwing the door open and removing the nachos, which had burnt to a crisp.
"Well there goes dinner." She commented.

Roz stood on her toes to kiss Teddy on the cheek, although she missed and kissed his jawline instead. "I forgot I had these." She commented, taking a small handful and throwing some of the m&ms into her mouth. She moved over to the couch; her very ratty couch that was left over in her mothers house. She made sure to clean it a few times over to rid it of that drug addict smell. She didn't even know why she had it, when she thought on it too much it made her sad and frustrated. Still, a couch was a couch. And it was a free couch. She pat the space next to her for Teddy to sit down.  

Roz scooted closer to Teddy, bringing her knees up onto the couch. She rested her head on his shoulder, determined to completely abandon her studying for tonight. "Lets just... sit here." She told him. Sure, it was a little uncomfortable sitting on the couch, it wasn't the most comfortable place to sit. She was pretty sure a spring was digging into her hip. Still, she'd deal with it if it meant getting to sit with Teddy.

Roz picked her head up off of Teddy's shoulder, "I mean if you're so against it we could play scrabble or something." She offered airily. So what if she wanted to just sit with Teddy, and be affectionate and sh!t. She could do that. To her own surprise she could get studying out of her mind long enough to register that there was another human in the room with her. A very cute human that she enjoyed spending time with and doing other stuff... stuff that was probably best not mentioning.

Roz brushed the pieces of trail mix off of her lap. She looked at Teddy, a small smile forming on her lips. Maybe she wasn't completely sure about her romantic feelings for him, but she liked being around him. It was better than being alone. He was a great distracter. Like how currently, she was getting really distracted by his face. She leaned in closer, her lips meeting his.

Those four words. God, why do they have to ruin everything? Love had always felt like a foreign concept to her. Like, no one had ever really clued her in to how it felt. She knew it was different from sexual attraction. She knew what that felt like. She had seen movies and tv shows where they described love as this, jittery feeling. The butterflies in the stomach. She wasn't really sure how that felt. And if that was what love was, she wasn't feeling it with Teddy. It was something else. A calm feeling. Kind of like winding down after a long day. Her heart rate slowed, and whatever she was feeling before just settled. Was that love? Or was it some other complicated emotion?

She broke the kiss, pulling away from him and moving herself to the other end of the couch. What she was feeling now, it wasn't the calm that she was used to. It was uneasiness. Like the thought of love had sent a chill up her spine.
"I..." She paused, trying to focus on what she could say, "I think we should stop."

Roz sighed, taking the bra from him. She'd put it on but she wasn't planning on taking off her shirt. At least, not anymore. I mean, she still could, but that would be weird. She wasn't going to do that. Besides, she had something bigger on her mind. Teddy's declaration had moved them from casual sex and hanging out to something else. It would be impossible to go back to the days of making out and hookups.

She had only two choices. Either she takes the plunge into a romantic relationship, or she breaks it off. Neither of those were appealing to her. A romantic relationship meant commitment. She wasn't sure she was ready for that. Was that something she had gotten from her mother? The woman who was always high on pills and would give her body off to get more? Roz knew her mother's relationship with her father didn't last very long. She remembered strange men in the house when she was younger. Was that what she was headed for? Not the drugs, but the short relationships that were nothing but hormones and drugs. Its not what she wanted. But neither was a honest to god relationship.

"I can't do this." She whispered, mostly to herself.

"You think it's that easy?" She asked, glancing up to look at him. She wanted to yell, but now was not the time. It wasn't his fault. It was never his fault. He might've said the words, but she was the one who didn't say them back. They had gotten into this relationship for completely different reasons. But the words were said, and she knew he was much more invested into this relationship than she was. And he didn't deserve this.

She raked her fingers through her hair. Maybe if she weren't so afraid of commitment. Maybe if she was just a little bit more open. Maybe she would deserve him.

Roz slumped into the couch, as she brushed away a loose strand of hair. It was amazing how quickly things had turned downhill. One minute, she was happy. The next she felt like someone had stabbed her in the heart.

She would recover, she knew that. Just like she had recovered from everything else that had gone wrong in her life. Fall down, and get right back up. Fix what was broken, disregard what can't be fixed. Put it behind her. Thats what she had always done. Move on.

Maybe thats what scared her a bit. The fact that one moment, she could find something that brought her joy, and the next, she'd be putting it behind her. Almost like she had never gained from it in the first place.

She couldn't even decide if this could be fixed, or if it would be best to just pass on. All she knew is that she fucked it up in the first place.