The number 730 repeated in her mind as Eleanor Armon trudged up the hill to the Sinai cemetery entrance. Ever since yesterday when she blinked she would see the number and the scene that took place 730 days ago. She didn't sleep in fear of slipping back into that moment.
She held her black winter coat closer to her chest as she passed the gravestones. Some had angels on top of the stones and she laughed. Nellie knew from personal experience that there were no angels.
She knew there were no angels because 730 days ago she killed someone by force. The order seeping into her mind, forcing her muscles to obey. Nellie didn't mean to--she didn't want to. But here she was, 730 days later standing over her friends grave. Nellie couldn't go to Heather's funeral, she didn't have the mental capability to sit down and honor the person who was murdered by her hand. The camp forgave her, but she never forgave herself.
Adrienne Martinelli trailed a couple yards behind her girlfriend, her boots squishing the mud as she walked. She pulled her hat farther down on her ears and tried to find something other than death to focus on. It was kind of hard, considering she was standing in the middle of a cemetery. She had this annoying habit of accidentally casting her "talk to the dead" spell. So she was doing everything in her power not to even think of the spell. Sure, it was a handy spell to learn, but it depended on the person. There was no way that she would be emotionally able to talk to someone she knew. Ever. She could have conversations with historical figures. Once when she was 15 she had a nice long chat with Alexander Hamilton so she could finish a book report.
She really didn't want to be here at the moment. She would've been much happier avoiding everyone in the library. But she had to go for Nellie's sake.
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: Regrets Thu Nov 26, 2015 11:41 pm
I can't
go on
Did I ever tell you about when my aunt died? Nellie whispered to Adrienne, not moving her eyes away from the grave.
I was five. I didn't understand the whole sadness part of it... Her voiced trailed off, trying to ignore the sound of the eerie familiar voice in her head. Her hand moved back, reaching to hold her girlfriend's. Despite trying to alienate herself she knew that she couldn't do any of this without Adrienne. She could've been dead without her who even knows? Nellie couldn't shut her out, Adrienne was too important in her life.
Adrienne kept silent, she had some stories about death herself, but she didn't want to share them. She didn't like death okay? She became a necromancer because at the time she thought it would challenge her, help her face her fears. Well she was fucking wrong. In fact she probably fears death even more now, great.
She took Nellie's hand when she held it out, rubbing her thumb on the back of Nellie's hand in an attempt to be comforting. How far away were they now? A couple hundred feet? She didn't remember the exact row number, just a general idea of what it looked like.
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: Regrets Sat Nov 28, 2015 10:15 am
I can't
go on
After a couple more feet of walking down the grassy path before Nellie froze in her tracks. She always had the image of Heather's angel on the grave stuck in her head, flashing whenever she would think about her. The angel resembled Wadjet, the god she followed. But when Nellie looked at the angel statue from a distance it looked like another familiar face, one that didn't make her think of protection.
No no no no no Nellie pleaded, stumbling backwards. She couldn't face that again, she just got his image out of her mind. Allowing her to have a social life, to make friends to spend time with her girlfriend in a place that wasn't a psychologist's office. Nellie held Adrienne's hand tighter, trying to get her hands to remain steady. Let's go back.
They were almost there when Nellie stopped. "No no no no no"
Adrienne put her hands on Nellie's shoulders, turning her away from the direction of heathers grave. She had to calm her down before they could go anywhere. "Ground yourself," She whispered, "Five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two you can smell, then one deep breath." It was one of Nellie's coping methods she had memorized. And she'd be lying if she said she hadn't seen it herself. "Ground yourself and then we can leave, no looking back." She said, trying to brush a strand of red hair out of Nellie's face. Damage control, she could do that.
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: Regrets Sun Nov 29, 2015 9:38 pm
cacti mom wrote:
I can't
go on
I see...trees, and y-you, and... Nellie looked around, starting to control her breathing. But then she saw Heather's angel again and her brain started to mush.
I see him Adrienne! He's going to come back for us. Nellie squeaked. She moved her hands onto Adrienne's trying to hide her panicked face. Somewhere inside her she knew that he wouldn't come for them. But that knowledge was buried under all of her anxiety and fear that one day he would be back and force her to kill Adrienne.
Adrienne looked past Nellie to the angel on Heather's grave. It did look pretty creepy. She could understand what it looked like to Nellie, or rather, who it looked like. But Caspar was dead. She made sure of it. He was somewhere down in the underworld, being punished for his crimes. That was the end of it. Still, the thought of him being alive sent chills down her spine.
"We can leave." Adrienne told Nellie, "Lets go." She took Nellie's hand and started a brisk walk back to the parking lot.
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: Regrets Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:54 pm
I can't
go on
Nellie kept her head down as the walked back to Adrienne's old car she has had since they were 16. She just wanted to go home and sleep forever.
I'm sorry. Nellie whispered as the two got into the car. You can go back, say stuff, I can't hold you back all the time
"Everything that I wanted to tell her has already been said," Adrienne shrugged. It was true, she came out alone a couple times and talked to Heather's grave, it was better than talking to the actual soul of Heather, mainly because graves don't respond. She was just planning to hang out and try not to get emotional.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked.
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: Regrets Sun Dec 06, 2015 7:52 pm
I can't
go on
Nellie assumed that one day she would run out of things to say about her life. Like she would be sitting in therapy and there wouldn't be anything to talk about. Nellie would be free. But there's always something to talk about with her. Like that one time she punched a guy just for funsies, and that was before the quest.
What if he is alive. Nellie learned to just cut to the chase when talking. She hated not answering questions right away after she would be stuck in therapy for hours because she didn't want to say it. Honestly she would get so annoyed by that now. He knows where we are he knows who we are, Adrienne. She held her legs to her chest, feeling her heart start to beat faster. She has always thought about the day he would come back. If he did come to Brooklyn House he could control everyone, she doesn't think anyone had that power here now. They would all die.
The cold was starting to seep through into the car, making her fingers stiff and causing a puff every time she exhaled. She put in the key and idled the car, causing the radio to buzz on, settling on a static-y station playing old timey holiday music. Nellie's comment made her shake her head defiantly, "No." She said sternly, her voice rising a few octaves "He's dead." She noticed her outburst and quickly quieted down. "I-i've been keeping tabs on him." She said, "I can talk to the dead, and I try to make sure that he's there. That he doesn't come back somehow."
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Subject: Regrets 
Thu Nov 26, 2015 10:49 pm